sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize