it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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