i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Can you bring me the toilet please
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Randomize
