hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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