Cold hands, warm shart.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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