My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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