is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think people are normalizing furries
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
