so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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