How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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