too bad you live with your parents still
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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