Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
