you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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