Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
