Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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