if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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