Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize