haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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