i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
