you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
