I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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