arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".