you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
