I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
