Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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