I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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