What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
