I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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