Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
