Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
