Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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