I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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