mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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