you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
