Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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