She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
