Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize