Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
