Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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