so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize