No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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