Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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