Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
