i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
