maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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