i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
