I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
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