I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How does one acquire holy water?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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