problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
