She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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