it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
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Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
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It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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