3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
