You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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