hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
