I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
These tits shall not be calmed
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
