are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
