he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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