I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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