WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
This baby is an asshole
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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