Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The Olympian is in my bed
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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