I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I want her autograph on my taint
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
