She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
