I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
